One-line joke

A one-liner is a joke that is delivered in a single line. A good one-liner is said to be pithy – concise and meaningful.[1] Comedians and actors use this comedic method as part of their performance, and many fictional characters are also known to deliver one-liners, including James Bond, who often makes pithy and laconic quips after disposing of a villain.[2]

Examples

  • "Never read a pop-up book about giraffes." (Sean Lock)[3]
  • "Throwing acid is wrong. In some people's eyes." (Jimmy Carr)[4]
  • "My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person - so I can get a better girlfriend." (Anthony Jeselnik)[5]
  • "Cricket. No matter who wins, both teams, and all the fans, are losers." (Frankie Boyle)[6]
  • "An escalator cannot break, it can only become stairs." (Mitch Hedberg)[7]
  • "My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave." (Burt Reynolds)[8]
  • "I'm on a whiskey diet… I've lost three days already." (Tommy Cooper)[9]
  • "It's good to see me, isn't it?" (Glinda, from the musical Wicked)[10]
  • "I have nothing to declare except my genius." (Oscar Wilde, upon arriving at US customs, 1882)[11]
  • "They hired a 3-piece band that was so lousy, every time the waiter dropped a tray, we all got up and danced!" (Les Dawson)
  • "What a magnificent show this is going to be when it starts!" (Ken Dodd)
  • "I have a girlfriend! I've been going out with my girlfriend for… sex!" (Stewart Francis)[12]
  • "I have an L-shaped sofa… Lowercase." (Demetri Martin)[13]
  • "Crime in multi-story car parks is wrong on so many different levels." (Tim Vine)[14]
  • "My wife – it's difficult to say what she does. She sells seashells on the seashore." (Milton Jones)[15]
  • "In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit." (Gary Delaney)[16]
  • "Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat." (Joe Lycett)[17]
  • "I was so ugly; my mother had morning sickness after I was born" (Rodney Dangerfield)

See also

References

  1. ^ Miller, K.E.L. (3 December 2009). "The Unuttered Punch Line: Pragmatic Incongruity and the Parsing of 'What's the Difference' Jokes" (PDF). Truman State University. Archived from the original (PDF) on 4 February 2015.
  2. ^ For James Bond, one line says it all - Christopher Bahn, Today, 10 November 2008
  3. ^ "Sean Lock's best jokes as comedian passes away at 58". Big Issue. 18 August 2021. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  4. ^ Logan, Brian (19 August 2002). "Jimmy Carr's Bare-Faced Ambition". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  5. ^ "Best Joke Ever: Comedy Villain Anthony Jeselnik: The Love Child of Jack Handey and Ravishing Rick Rude". McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  6. ^ Bates, Normal (22 February 2016). "The most outrageous, funniest jokes Frankie Boyle has ever told". The Poke. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  7. ^ "Minnesota's Mitch Hedberg, Comedian, Would Have Turned 52 Today". 103.7 THE LOON. 25 February 2020. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  8. ^ Cohen, Alex (6 September 2018). "Burt Reynolds, 'Smokey And The Bandit' Star, Dies At 82". NPR. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  9. ^ "Tommy Cooper Classics - Inside Your Mind". 27 January 2021. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  10. ^ "WATCH: Glinda's "It's Good To See Me Isn't It" From WICKED'S First Performance Back". www.theatrely.com. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  11. ^ "Number 64300". The Columbia World of Quotations. 1996. Retrieved 20 June 2007.
  12. ^ Nelson, Alex (13 July 2018). "41 of Stewart Francis' most ingenious jokes and one-liners". The i Paper. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  13. ^ "Demetri Martin: Live (At The Time) (2015) | Transcript". Scraps from the loft. 15 May 2019. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  14. ^ "100 of the best ever jokes and one-liners from the Edinburgh Fringe". iNews. 4 August 2017. Retrieved 6 June 2018.
  15. ^ Benedictus, Leo (24 January 2013). "Comedy Gold: Milton Jones's Lion Whisperer". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved 23 February 2026.
  16. ^ Gary Delaney: Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013 - Full show of one-liners. Retrieved 23 February 2026 – via www.facebook.com.
  17. ^ Ogilvie, Lucy (3 August 2016). "The Best Joke of the Edinburgh Fringe". Pearlshare. Retrieved 23 February 2026.